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Mrs Mostyn was determined not be fazed by the situation. “Can we have some volunteers to take the skeleton off Roly?” she enquired.

* * *

“This, young lady, is a ship” replied Captain Blight. “She does not have a head, she has a captain. Miss Catsnap is now first mate, and Mr Woosnam has been demoted to caretaker and cook”
It was the first time the pupils had noticed Mr Woosnam, who stood by the door in a tatty old dustcoat with a ring of keys in his hand. “You can call me Steve now” he beamed.

* * *

The unfortunate wretch was duly dispatched to Davy Jones’ locker, clad in a makeshift sheet of out-of-date Owen Glyn Bowen tea-towels featuring the crudely drawn faces of long-gone pupils. Mrs Mostyn read The Owl and the Pussycat, which was the only poem about sailing in the school library, and Mr Woosnam played the Last Post on the kazoo.

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