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Flesh-eating mutants mar Blake’s visit to Ringland

May 30, 2011

Jon Blake’s latest school visit, to St Gabriels Primary in Ringland, Newport, was marred by ugly scenes involving the flesh-eating mutants of Year 6. Blake’s talk had been going well until he accidentally suffered a paper cut on his little finger, at which point he noticed the entire class slowly advancing on him, transfixed by the small bubble of blood issuing from the wound. At this point an alarm went off and teachers came rushing from all parts of the building to usher the children back to their desks. Blake’s suspicions were aroused, however, and a lunchtime check with the police revealed that Julia Donaldson, Michael Morpurgo and Shoo Rayner had all failed to return from visits to the school. However, the brave writer decided to shrug off his fears and join the pupils for lunch. He described the shepherd’s pie as “excellent” with a “slightly unusual taste, a bit like albatross”.

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